Ritalin Cures Next Picasso
WORCESTER, MA--Area 7-year-old Douglas
Castellano's unbridled energy and creativity are
no longer a problem thanks to Ritalin, doctors for the
child announced Monday. "After years of failed
attempts to stop Douglas' uncontrollable bouts of
self-expression, we have finally found success with
Ritalin," Dr. Irwin Schraeger said. "For the
first time in his life, Douglas can actually sit
down and not think about lots of things at once."
Castellano's parents reported that the cured
child no longer tries to draw on everything in
sight, calming down enough to show an
interest in television.