God Proclaims Raspberries 'Now Even More Berrilicious'
                HEAVEN--Attempting to counter a
                decline in worldwide raspberry
                consumption, God announced
                Monday that starting March 1, the
                great taste of raspberries will be
                "even more berrilicious." "Get ready
                for a whole new taste sensation,"
                God said. "Soon, raspberries will be
                bursting with so much outrageous
                fruity flavor, you'll want to call them
                'razzle-dazzleberries.'" If raspberry
                consumption fails to increase, other
                changes are in store, including
                "magic color-change berries,"
                available on bushes for a limited time
                next spring. "Slam that great fruity
                taste in your face," God urged.